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If you want disgusting…

2009 November 13
by ladybrain
centipede

It came from within

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Sara calls in to describe the large pore in her back and the giant “centipede” that comes out of it. This is one zit you have to shut your eyes to see!

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New Episode: Meet the Rookie Moms

2009 November 12
rookiemon

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Click to play episode: Ever take a look at that new bundle of joy you  recently gave birth to (or contributed sperm to) and realize you have NO idea what to do with him or her? Well, there’s an answer to that question, and it’s in the form of two very wise, and very sane women who somehow found time in the middle of all that mommy stuff to write  about it.  Whitney Moss and Heather Gibbs Flett are co-authors of the indispensible parenting blog located at RookieMoms.com. Their book, The Rookie Mom’s Handbook, includes 250 activities to do with (and without!) your baby, and is available on Amazon.com.

We interviewed these ladies and got lots of tips on how to handle new mommy-dom, including: what to do when your breast milk spurts across the room, how to get your baby in the car when the a-hole next to you has parked too close to let you get your car seat back in, and other useful tidbits. Their Mama Milestone chart was designed to mark the accomplishments on the little stuff that can be a really big deal–even for women who may be accomplished power brokers in their professional lives. Things like simply. leaving. the. house. Take a listen!

New Episode: Pardon me, but your dildo is showing

2009 November 10

vibrator

Pretty in pink. (Click to play episode.)

Click to play episode (note, we think the word “dildo” appears at LEAST 100 times. Can you count them all?)

Dear Lady Brain, We just moved houses so a friend came over for a playdate and visit to see the new place. I walked her around all the rooms, including all the bathrooms. After she left I went upstairs and realized my husband had left out our “private dancer” pink-swirly dildo (a la Good Vibrations) in the shower after cleaning it. It was in PLAIN view and now I am certain she saw it. The question remains whether to bring it up or stay “the giant pink dildo couple” ?

There are two possible answers to this dildo dilemma. Totally ignore it and hope that it goes away without causing unnecessary awkwardness. OR bring it up and take the stigma away. Lauren, as a current non-dildo owner suggests scoping out your friends’ house to see how dildo-friendly they are. If one is found, bring up your own swirly dancer and simply say “oops, did you see mine when you came over? Hubby was being responsible and left it out to dry properly.” If anything, she’ll be jealous that he’s so conscientious! If they appear not to accessorize like you do, then just keep mum and don’t make a big deal out of it. If they judge, it’s their close-minded loss.

On the other hand, Steph (more familiar with adult toys) thinks you should immediately take the issue in hand–invite her over, bring out the dancer and just clear the air. But don’t point that thing at her too closely, it might scare your friend away. It’s not called a PRIVATE dancer for nothing.

But good on ya for cleaning it!

-Steph and Lauren

New episode: Farting in Pilates

2009 November 6
by ladybrain
fart

Do you fart? Click to play episode.

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Dear LB, I’m embarrassed to tell you, but I know you’ll understand.  The other day in my Pilates class I practically farted in my instructor’s face.  Can you imagine the horror?  Help a girl out and tell me this has happened to you guys.  And, how did you handle it?

Signed,

Flexible Yet Flatulent in Frisco

Does this topic never get tired? Really, ladies! But you know what? It happens to all of us. Assuming you are human, that is. We don’t suggest you make a big deal out of it, though Steph is known to announce when she’s going to fart so you can either revel in it or leave the room (or she’ll leave the room in advance she’s so considerate!), Lauren recommends farting when you need to–it’s a function of living–but don’t make a big stinkin’ deal out of it!


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New Episode: Give me an “O”!

2009 November 5
by ladybrain

0209_o_face

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Dear Lady Brain, I am a guy who likes to make sure that his woman is fulfilled during sex—so I tend to take care of her right up front. But I was wondering is that the right thing to do—do women enjoy sex after they’ve had an orgasm?

  • Every woman is different but most concur that having an orgasm makes for more fulfilling sex. Ask your woman how it feels for her!
  • The options for women seem to be: get one guaranteed up front while he’s totally dedicated to the cause, and then have sex after, OR gamble on getting one during, or convince him to give you one afterward…you have to direct traffic on this one ladies.
  • Giving an orgasm is important! Joan Sauer, Author of ‘Sex Lives of Australian Women’ is quoted in the Globe and Mail, “when I asked (one respondent) how she had an orgasm, she said ‘Oh, I go into the bathroom and masturbate after we’ve had sex.’ It’s really sad. This is the funny thing, a lot of the women in the survey, including women who described stories like that, are doctors and lawyers and they’re supposedly liberated in their public lives. But in their private lives they’re still sort of back in the 1950s, which is bizarre.’
  • Take our
    !

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New Episode: WTFs (10/31, pt 3)

2009 November 3
We take a moment to discuss the annoying topics of the week. C’mon you know you love a little bit of venting! Some highlights:
  • Sexy Dreams update–the most dreamed about stars, Teddy’s menage a trois with Beyonce and what to do when Brad Pitt shows up.
  • Matchmaking for Cougars and “sugar babies” Are these sites for real!? http://sugarmamamatch.com, http://ashleighmadison.com; http://seekingaffluent.com

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NEW EPISODE: What are your Goals for Sex?

2009 October 30
goal

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Click to play episode: The difference between men and women, revealed!

Dear Lady Brain,

Do men and women have different goals for sex? –Alex, San Francisco

Dear Alex,

We highly recommend a listen to our show on this topic!  But the best way to sum it up can be found in the following quote: “Women want a man with passionate sex on his mind and love and tenderness in his heart. She wants him to be into her, not just sexually, but emotionally as well.” Dr Fran Paver—Psychology Today blog . To paraphrase Lauren in the show, “Men just want a woman with passionate sex on her mind.”

And to find a summary of a GREAT study on what women want, take a look at this article in the Globe and Mail regarding a book called “The Sex Lives of Australian Women.” The book’s author, Joan Sauer says women just want (drum roll please) “better sex!” Guys–we love you, really!

-Steph and Lauren

Best posting ever on a preschool Google group

2009 October 29

Google Group Gone MadDo you ever get overwhelmed by the back and forth on a Yahoo or Google group? Do you ever wonder if this discussion would actually take place face to face? And are there ever things you want to say but hold back? Well don’t! The following posting was in response to a spiraling and heated preschool parents’ debate via a “Google Group.” The following response seemed to have nipped the conversation in the bud. Try it on your Group some time! Names have been shortened to their initials to protect privacy.)

Date: Tues, Oct 27 2009 2:34 pm

From: KM

Hi R. et al,

May I respectfully recommend a  Facebook group for
discussion of these issues?

I can’t opt out of the Google group, as it’s the main way I get
information from J. (school director).  But the Facebook group I could simply not
join if I didn’t want to, whereas R., S., and K. could.

Those of us who have multiple, and older, children have often been
discussing parenting issues for many years and are quite tired of
them.  Perhaps if the discussion was about nocturnal emissions, first
periods, and alcohol use I would be more interested.

I am respectfully requesting that you use the G. Google group
only for issues of pertinence to all of the families on the list.

Best,

KM

NEW EPISODE: Help! My 13 Year Old Daughter is Dating

2009 October 28
by ladybrain

teendate

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CLICK TO PLAY EPISODE: What to do to keep her safe, and you sane.

Dear Lady Brain,

How do dads deal when there teenage daughter starts to date? I have a daughter that is a freshman in high school and have  jr boy asking her out! please help Lady Brain!

Dear Dad,

Lauren’s husband wanted to name their daughters Ghonna and Rhea, but short of that, there are some steps you can take to ensure you don’t lose your mind while she’s out trying to have a good time.

1. Meet the guy she’s going out with. Have him come pick her up at the house and grab a couple of minutes alone with him. Let him know your rules and enlist him to follow them. You can also stand menacingly in front of him with your arms crossed. Note–the bigger your arms the better this tactic works. Just ask Teddy.

2. Set limits with your daughter and have her on board. Since she’s telling you she’s dating it sounds like there’s already a conversation happening. This is a good thing and we suggest you work with her on what seems fair. But stand firm on your limits.

3. Be available–let her (and him) know that if they end up with any drinking or drugs in their system (oh, my how did that happen?) to CALL you. Any time. Would you rather be awakened than stay up wondering? You can also give her money for a cab.

4. Make sure she understands the birds and the bees. And how to swat away the bees. Or the birds. Hopefully by now you’ve had ‘the conversation’ and given her tips on how to deal with awkward situations and how to get out of them. Give her confidence that “no” means no, don’t be embarassed to insist they use protection. Teddy is planning to put his daughter on the pill when she starts to menstruate–but that doesn’t stop STDs!

5. Be informed about where they are going.

6. Don’t obsessively call her every 5 minutes.

It’s a right of passage and your job, as it always has been, is to do what you can to help her exercise good judgement, be safe and be responsible.  Plus, take their photo so you can show her what a dork that guy was when she’s all grown up.

WTFs–Mustaches (poll!); Common Courtesy

2009 October 27
by ladybrain
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Now for something completely different…Mustaches seem to be making a comeback. They weren’t pretty then and they aren’t pretty now. Except on a few choice men in Steph’s family of course. We’re not talking about the beard ’stache combo. It’s the mustache all by itself..what do you think about the mustache?